let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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