i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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