you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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