Don't you send me to vm
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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