i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She bit a glass in half.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
