So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
