i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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