This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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