Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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