My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
