if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Green mimosas i think yes
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
