Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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