And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
