Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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