do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need a beard to bite.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
