I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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