I wish i was in the wii world.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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