Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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