i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
