They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
