do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
