He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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