tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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