i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dicks are not precious.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
