In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
