I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
