im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize