last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
