I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
