I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
