you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
