I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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