I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
