so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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