thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
