I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
