I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we made out on top of his cat.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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