Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
