She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
wow bdsm is so cute
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