it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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