I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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