Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
