A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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