Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I looked at my own cervix.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
