Pregnant stripper...not hot.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everyone says I win the strip club
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
