Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
