Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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