My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
