he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
