He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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