honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
