so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
