I just pynch a tree in the face
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
