chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
