She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
