She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize