i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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