sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
