Don't you send me to vm
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
