Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
