im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
