Will you blow on my dice?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
