You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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