Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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