"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize