mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
