I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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